Jewish view of dating
Doctors, lawyers, plumbers, chefs, interior designers – they all have to prove their competence before we would dare use them. – alone, making all sorts of mistakes as we try to figure it out and get it right.But for the big issues in life, for the things that really matter, there really is no training – no degrees in parenting, schools for happiness, Ph D's in relationships. That method would work – if no one got hurt along the way.The commitment of marriage is until it's killing you. Lying on the beach, a cold drink, falling asleep – this is nice and comfortable.Divorce is appropriate when the marriage has become an abusive, destructive relationship that can't be cured. Often people get divorced because they simply get bored with each other. "We don’t laugh like we used to anymore." If someone told you that he was amputating his hand because "The fun went out of it" you'd say he's nuts. If that sounds a bit extreme, it’s because we have a faulty definition of comfort and pleasure. Pleasure, on the other hand, requires effort and work.
What does the couple need in order to accomplish this sense of unification?
Before you can contemplate marriage, you need to know your life goals: What do I want to do with my life? Rabbi Noah Weinberg zt”l said: “You don't know what you're living for, unless you know what you're ready to die for. I'll just have the relationship without the marriage. In describing Adam, the first human, the Torah says, "Male and female He created them” (Genesis ).
Articulate the essential things that make life constantly purposeful. We learn from here that originally Man was created as male and female in one complete entity. My commitment to my hand is one I'd reconsider if it became gangrenous, and I was left with no choice but amputation.
Who we choose to marry is arguably the most important decision we will make in determining our happiness and our children's happiness (and even your parents' happiness).
We train and license people for almost every conceivable activity.