Dating too long
Dating today is filled with question marks, unspoken rules, and just a general sense of mystery.
Maybe you've been together for two weeks, or maybe it's been eight years, but if marriage is a goal for both of you, when is the best time to make that happen? Researchers at Emory University surveyed over 3,000 people in the United States who are or have been married about various aspects of their dating, their engagements, and their weddings (Francis-Tan & Mialon, 2015).
Countering the idea that marriage launches new experiences that introduce declines in satisfaction, Huston and colleagues (2001) found that what happens early in a couple's time together tends to happen later, too.
In support of this , they observed that levels of negativity are generally stable in couples over time, but that increases in disillusionment differentiate couples that stay together versus those that fall apart. Do you want to test out your relationship first by living together?
Don't discount your personal assessment of future happiness: It's tied to underlying processes you're doing now that will later affect relationship well-being. Research (Felmee, 1995) examining these "fatal attractions" has discovered that they often take a certain form.
When a partner is dissimilar from us in a specific way or has traits that are extreme—"She's super enthusiastic! "—we sometimes see these as highly attractive qualities during relationship initiation, but they later become highly qualities that can reduce relationship satisfaction.