Dating a widower with small children
Take some time in the summer for a family vacation, even if it has to be modest to be affordable.
Whatever those traditions are, hang onto them as a family. Many of the family routines may have been Mom's responsibility and now it falls to the widowed father to take them on.
If he speaks of his late wife with love and fond memories, you can be sure he has a loving heart and in time, with your patience, you may find yourself worthy of being on the receiving end of that, too! We did get together and had a “hot” relationship for a couple of months.
I am currently on the back burner until he gets through some important “first” dates since her death, birthdays, holidays, etc.
So, maintain your family traditions even after your partner is gone.
Decorate the Christmas tree on time; don't ignore the tradition just because you don't feel like doing it.
As friends, neighbors and extended family members offer help, be willing to accept it graciously and allow others the opportunity to serve you and your family.
An offer for babysitting while you take some time for yourself can be a welcome relief and should be not be rejected. Some may offer to take care of the yard for a while or fix your car.
But I would like to dig just a little deeper than I did with my initial writing.
Again, I truly DO love and appreciate hearing from you. What you share here is meaningful to me and also helps inform the thousands of women who are reading these posts. Dating a man who has been widowed can be challenging, but as you say, they can also be a great catch. 🙂 Bp I am reading these comments because of my current situation of being in love with my widower of 8 months who is having a very hard time.
Unlike divorced men, they don’t come from a failed relationship, but many have a strong track record of loving and appreciating a woman as a wife and partner. Yes, I would much rather have to “compete” (as other women have said it) with his lovely dead wife and reap the benefits of his good marriage than have to put up with a man who can’t truly trust, can’t commit, still has anger and has a crazy ex who is still in his life. However, I need to say that the reason I am willing to wait for a good relationship with my widower is because of the love and care he had for his late wife before and during her illness.
Most have not, because of the very issues you have raised. My advice here is to a woman who has met one of the “gems” that I introduced to you at the start of this article: one who had a good, long marriage…knows how to love, communicate, commit, work through problems …misses being married…pours himself into [a relationship].
(Meaning a relationship with HER.) It is to This Man — the one who knows how to love and is ready to do it again — that I advise a woman to extend kindness, patience and empathy.